NEW YEARS HANGOVERS
Added on: 1st Jan 2016
YOU GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD
THAT CHIRPING BIRDS ARE
THE DEVIL'S PETS.
TRYING TO GAIN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION,
YOU CONTINUE TO TELL YOUR
ROOM TO "STAY STILL."
LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR
INDUCES THE SAME REACTION AS
DRINKING A GLASS OF FRESH PAINT.
THE BATHROOM REMINDS YOU OF
THE FAIRGROUND CRY,
"STEP RIGHT UP AND GIVE IT WHIRL"
YOU'D RATHER CHEW TACKS
THAN BE EXPOSED TO SUNLIGHT.
YOU SET ASIDE AN ENTIRE AFTERNOON
TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME
WITH YOUR TOILET.
YOU REPLACE THE TRADITIONAL
PRAYING ON YOUR KNEES WITH
THE MORE FEASIBLE PRAYING
IN A FETAL POSITION.
YOUR CATCH PHRASE IS,
"NEVER AGAIN."
YOU COULD PURCHASE A NEW FRIDGE
ON THE PROCEEDS FROM RECYCLING
THE BOTTLES AROUND YOUR BED.
YOUR NEW RESPONSE TO
"GOOD MORNING,"
IS "BE QUIET!"
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