NEW YEARS DAY QUOTES
Added on: 1st Jan 2016
NEW YEAR'S IS A HARMLESS ANNUAL
INSTITUTION, OF NO PARTICULAR USE TO
ANYBODY SAVE AS A SCAPEGOAT FOR
PROMISCUOUS DRUNKS AND FRIENDLY
CALLS AND HUMBUG RESOLUTIONS.
DROP THE LAST YEAR INTO THE SILENT
LIMBO OF THE PAST. LET IT GO,
FOR IT WAS IMPERFECT
AND THANK GOD THAT IT CAN GO.
YOUTH IS WHEN YOU'RE ALLOWED TO
STAY UP LATE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
MIDDLE AGE IS WHEN YOU'RE FORCED TO.
THE PROPER BEHAVIOUR ALL THROUGH
THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS TO BE DRUNK.
THIS DRUNKENNESS CULMINATES ON
NEW YEAR'S EVE, WHEN YOU GET
SO DRUNK YOU KISS THE PERSON
YOU'RE MARRIED TO.
NOW THERE ARE MORE OVERWEIGHT
PEOPLE IN AMERICA THAN AVERAGE-WEIGHT
PEOPLE. SO OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE ARE
NOW AVERAGE… WHICH MEANS,
YOU HAVE MET YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION:
TO TOLERATE FOOLS MORE GLADLY,
PROVIDED THIS DOES NOT ENCOURAGE
THEM TO TAKE UP MORE OF MY TIME.
MAKING RESOLUTIONS IS A CLEANSING
RITUAL OF SELF-ASSESSMENT AND
REPENTANCE THAT DEMANDS PERSONAL
HONESTY AND ULTIMATELY,
REINFORCES HUMILITY.
BREAKING THEM IS PART OF THE CYCLE.
AN OPTIMIST STAYS UP UNTIL MIDNIGHT
TO SEE THE NEW YEAR IN.
A PESSIMIST STAYS UP TO MAKE
SURE THE OLD YEAR LEAVES.
NEW YEAR'S DAY IS
EVERY MAN'S BIRTHDAY.
CHEERS TO A NEW YEAR AND ANOTHER
CHANCE FOR US TO GET IT RIGHT.
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