NEW YEAR ONE LINERS
Added on: 1st Jan 2017
I WAS GOING TO QUIT ALL
MY BAD HABITS FOR THE NEW YEAR,
BUT THEN I REMEMBERED
THAT NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER.
MY WIFE STILL HASN'T TOLD ME
WHAT MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS ARE.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS SOMETHING
THAT GOES IN ONE YEAR AND
OUT THE OTHER.
NEW YEAR'S IS JUST A HOLIDAY
CREATED BY CALENDAR COMPANIES
WHO DON'T WANT YOU REUSING
LAST YEAR'S CALENDAR.
NEW YEARS EVE FORECAST:
MOSTLY DRUNK WITH A SLIGHT
CHANCE OF PASSING OUT.
WHAT DO YOU CALL ALWAYS HAVING
A DATE FOR NEW YEAR'S EVE?
SOCIAL SECURITY.
NEW YEAR'S DAY:
NOW IS THE ACCEPTED TIME
TO MAKE YOUR REGULAR
ANNUAL GOOD RESOLUTIONS.
NEXT WEEK YOU CAN BEGIN
PAVING HELL WITH THEM AS USUAL.
WHAT DO YOU TELL SOMEONE
YOU DIDN'T SEE AT NEW YEAR'S EVE?
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR A YEAR!
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