A FRENCH TOURIST IN SCOTLAND
Added on: 18th Jul 2016
ONE COLD DECEMBER DAY,
A FRENCH TOURIST IN SCOTLAND
STOPPED AT A FARM COTTAGE.
HE TOLD THE FARMER'S WIFE
HE WAS FREEZING TO DEATH
AND WAS INVITED TO COME IN AND
WARM HIMSELF AT THE HEARTH.
ONCE INSIDE THE HOUSE,
HE COMPLAINED OF BEING THIRSTY.
THE WOMAN HANDED HIM AN ENORMOUS
WHITE CROCKERY MUG FILLED WITH MILK.
AFTER TAKING A BIG SWIG,
THE GUEST EXCLAIMED,
"THIS IS SWEET AND FRESH,
YOU ARE MOST GENEROUS!"
SHE REPLIED MODESTLY,
"IT'S NOTHING.
MY FAMILY WOULDN'T DRINK THAT MILK
BECAUSE WE FOUND A DEAD RAT IN IT."
SICK TO HIS STOMACH,
THE FRENCHMAN CLAPPED BOTH HANDS
OVER HIS MOUTH, ALLOWING
THE HUGE MUG TO FALL TO THE FLOOR
AND SHATTER ON THE STONE FLOOR.
THE SCOTSWOMAN GRABBED
HER BROOM, RAISED IT
HIGH IN THE AIR AND
BROUGHT IT DOWN ON
THE VISITOR'S HEAD, AND HOLLERED,
"GET OUT, YOU UNGRATEFUL PIG!
I TAKE YOU IN MY HOME,
I LET YOU SHARE MY FIRE,
I GIVE YOU MILK TO DRINK AND NOW
YOU REPAY MY KINDNESS BY BREAKING
THE CHILDREN'S POTTY!"
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